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Porn Mistakes to Watch Out For

by Beth Divine 28 Dec 2017

Your girlfriend gets seriously turned on by watching anal sex and threesomes – that must mean she will love them in real life, yes?

No! Not at all. This is a common misconception, and it happens to men as well as women. The differences between fantasy sex and real-life sex can be huge, and with some couples it can cause enormous issues in the relationship. Here are some common errors and how to avoid them.

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Going with the first examples, anal and threesomes are amongst the naughtiest things that most people will ever consider trying in real life, and while the idea might be highly exciting when discussed in the privacy of the bedroom, the reality may be quite different. Inviting a third party into your sex life is a major adjustment to make, even if it is something that you both think you would like to try out. Trust is an important issue, with both parties needing to feel confident that the other party is not going to be able to insinuate themselves into the relationship and change the dynamics so dramatically that you fall out over it. A major decision to be made is the sex of the other person who will be joining you – you might both be thinking (in a hetero relationship) of getting someone of the other sex for your greater enjoyment! This could lead to a major impasse if not discussed openly and honestly before the search begins for a willing partner!

Anal sex is one of those things that seems wildly exciting and naughty, but performing it, or having it performed upon you, can affect you mentally – even with full consent and agreement! Bear this in mind, and make sure you keep lines of communication open, before, during and after the act, always stopping instantly if one of you is no longer enjoying the experience or is no longer willing to keep trying.

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There are many sexual acts that people can enjoy watching, that get them turned on and ready for action, but that they do not actually want to even try in real life. Fantasies are very different to reality, as anyone who has ever had a daydream will know! Imagining yourself as a hero knight on horseback going into a battle is fantastic as a daydream, but not something we would really want to do!

Also bear in mind that many positions adopted by porn stars are so that we, the audience can watch up close and intimate. These positions might look sexy as hell, but they will not add to anyone’s enjoyment of their sexual session! Some positions may be physically strenuous, others might not be at all comfortable, and others might not provide the necessary friction needed to orgasm – a very important part of any sexual encounter!

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Some actions or scenarios frequently played out in porn films are neither romantic nor sexy. These include fisting, gaping and other more vigorous hardcore acts. 

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Even if these turn you on, and your partner agrees to try some of them, bear in mind that they often cause feelings of degradation or humiliation. If this is the case, and your partner backs out, keep such things for your virtual sex partner and use only tenderness with your real-life lover.

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At all times, bear in mind that porn is different to real life sexual encounters, as the actors have been having all kinds of sex for a very long time, and they are comfortable with their bodies, they know what they can and cannot do, and they are following a script. Real life is different: messier, more emotional, less physical and, often, more satisfying! With all that in mind, pick your favourite movie, lie back and enjoy your favourite scenes!