Do you remember being very small, and accompanying your
parent, friend or sibling to the toilet or to bath? Most of us do, and most of
us may remember the curiosity we felt, seeing other people undressed. Different
body parts, the same body parts that look different to ours, odd freckles and
birthmarks: other people’s bodies are an endless source of fascination to the
very young. However, as we get older, we learn that frank and unabashed
curiosity should be curtailed and that other people’s bodies should be politely
ignored.
For the most part, we succeed in suppressing our wonderings,
and leave our intimate explorations to our sexual partners, those who are
literally and figuratively closest to us. The one exception to this is sex. It
is hard to see what you look like having sex, because you are having sex, and
(hopefully!) thinking about other things than your appearance. Likewise, it is
tricky to see your own private parts, especially if you are a woman – it
involves some contortionism, a couple of mirrors and a fair amount of
stretching, none of which is particularly attractive or sexy! So it is very
difficult to imagine what exactly is to be seen while you are fucking or
getting fucked – and we are a very visual species, we like to see everything!
This is where porn comes into it: watching other people
performing the acts that we like – or even just like to think about – satisfies
this deep curiosity. We are empathic too, so when we see people enjoying sex,
we begin to want to have sex ourselves, and thus watching porn can help us come
to orgasm through masturbation in a more satisfying and intense manner than by
trying to imagine a partner on our own.
Porn is also useful as a learning tool! It can be very
embarrassing to talk to others about sex, and most people want to be romantic
and spontaneous and have really great sex just happen, without any forethought.
But, as with sex itself, foreplay and some planning is almost always needed,
and porn can help us to realise this. Not only can porn give us ideas about
different positions to try – a little reverse cowgirl changes things up for
both parties, involving different sensations and new lines of delicious
friction! – but it can show us how to prepare. From a little grooming, to
massage oils and lubes, to purchasing a few items (dildos, vibrators and other
sex toys, to edible creams and lotions, to restraints with which to explore a
little light bondage – they do not have to be handcuffs, a length of silk is
both strong, gentle and sexy as hell) to laying out the seduction area
(mattress on floor gives you more freedom for vigorous action without the worry
of falls!), porn movies can give you plenty of ideas to try out with a willing
and enthusiastic partner!
Finally, we like porn because it turns us on to see people
fucking each other. Oral, anal and gangbangs – we can watch anything that our
secret self wants to see, watch it and then try it out at home!