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Weird Things Stuck Inside Penises

by Beth Divine 7 Feb 2018
Urethral sounds are medical tools used to dilate the male urethra for various tests and treatments. However, just as the head of the penis, the glans, is sensitive, so too is the inside of the urethra. Therefore, some people use urethral sounds and penis plugs to enjoy the sensations engendered by having something firm slid inside the penis. There are a number of sex toys available that enhance these sensations: sounds are long and reach deep inside the urethra, while penis plugs are shorter (one to four inches long) but wider, causing pleasure by stretching the urethra to stimulate those so-sensitive nerves. 

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However, some people, too impatient to wait for their online sex toy order to arrive, have shown up at emergency rooms with all manner of odd things stuck inside their penises. 

One man ordered a sex doll online, but received instead a Barbie doll. Enraged by this frustrating delay to his sexual gratification, he ripped off Barbie’s arm and stuck it inside his pee-hole. Where it promptly got stuck, making his bad day into a most humiliating one. 

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Another gent, eager to sample the pleasures of urethral stimulus, seized a handy crochet hook and slipped it in. He lost his grip on it – perhaps overwhelmed with all that sensation – and had to sheepishly present himself to the hospital for removal. One wonders if he asked for it back to return to his mum or grandmother… 

Music boxes belong to a world of sedate elegance and tinkling music and you wouldn’t think that too many people could cast a salacious glance at the little rotating dancer that pops up when a music box is wound up, but one man did, and acted on his lust. He was found to have a ballet dancer figurine from a music box firmly wedged into his penis. 

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Glass rods and even Christmas tree lights have all been found embedded deep inside their urethras. While glass might offer a cool and almost frictionless surface, it is also very brittle and can break – it’s not ideal as a sex toy, so don’t be tempted to try it! 

Speaker wire is another product that seems to offer a urethral thrill, but honestly, it’s not worth it. Wire bends, which can help it to get stuck, and it can break or fray, loosing sharp strands inside your penis and causing untold harm. 

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The last person on our list didn’t insert anything in his penis purely for fun. He may have enjoyed it, but this patient was a bored prisoner who wanted to get out of his cell for a bit, and make the most of a change of scenery by going to hospital for a little while. So he stuffed an enormously long piece of floss into his urethra, and then told the guards that he had ‘penis issues’ and needed a doctor.