We have a long history of coming up with weird and wonderful
names for our genitalia, and it has even been the subject of academic studies.
The result of these studies, Jonathan Green’s Dictionary of Slang runs to three
volumes, and many of the entries deal with euphemisms or nicknames for
genitalia. Many nicknames for female genitalia are hangovers from the many
years of sexual repression in which women were expected to have no sexual
feelings, and even to deny the existence of her sexual organs. This is why
there are so many names for lady parts that sound like a mumble: hooha, foofoo,
and the even more supremely denialist ‘down there’. But there are some great
names for lady bits: Here is a closer look at a few of the best:
Honey pot: this one is lovely – indicating the pleasures that can be gotten from this area of the body, while acknowledging that mistreatment might end up with the miscreant being ‘stung’.
Peach: sweet, smooth skinned and delicious – what is not to like about this appetising nickname. Plus it gives that line spoken by Nicolas Cage in Face/Off, an added and amusing cachet, ‘I could eat a peach for hours.’
Fun tunnel: this one matches up nicely with the male almost equivalent, gigglestick. Imagine being horny and wanting to invite a new partner to indulge in some no-strings fun by saying, ‘How’s about your gigglestick and my fun tunnel seen how well they get on,’? If yes, great, if no, it’s an easy one to turn down without hurt or offense on either side.
Rose/ Flower/ Petal: This one is obvious, but also not offensive. The many labia can look like flower petals and flower are literally the sex organs of plants, so there is a lot of crossover and symbolism. Plus, flowers are beautiful and often smell nice, which makes it a pleasant connotation for women who often feel as those their lady parts are, as Germaine Greer stated, ‘big hairy smelly’ parts that should be a source of shame.
Velvet Glove: Another obvious one, and one that makes it seem as though having lady parts is something to be enjoyed and desired.You may notice that this list doesn’t include any of the more misogynistic and derogatory names for lady parts: this is deliberate. Women have been shamed for their bodies from the tale of Adam and Eve until now and it is about time it stops. Women are not the enemy of men, both sexes are needed to complement and complete the other – stamp out each small instance of hate or domination whenever you see it, and help to change the world – one vulva at a time!