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How to Make Sure She Comes Part 1

by Beth Divine 9 Nov 2018

Most men – and some women too – like to think that their female partners ‘always’ come with them. Given that women admit to orgasming with a regular partner only 65% of the time, and less with one-night flings, this is unlikely to be true for everyone. If you are not sure of your prowess, or simply want to improve your sexual technique, here are some ways that you can make sure your female partner is getting the full benefit from your actions.

Word of Mouth: Women tend to love oral. A tongue is smaller but more nimble than a penis, and the clitoris just loves that sort of delicate stimulation. Make sure you can identify the clitoris with both fingers and tongue, and be gentle with it, it is tremendously sensitive which is great for pleasure, but also remarkably efficient at feeling pain. Be prepared to perform oral for long enough for her to get into it: female orgasms can’t be hurried. In return she can perform oral on you or you can agree that whatever you like to do is next on the menu.

Touch Her Right: Mix up mutual masturbation a little. All too often it’s one or two fingers, rubbing in the same direction until she comes, or until she’s wet enough for penetration. Instead, make foreplay part of the sex act: take your time and use different actions, such as gentle tapping next to the sensitive places, rubbing in a figure of eight, gentle squeezing, and so on. Also make sure you get the right spot, and be prepared to put the time in! As with oral, female orgasms take time to build and most women need 20 minutes to get to the point of release.

Play with Toys! Sex toys used to be considered something naughty, or something sad, only used by highly-sexed ugly women who needed to come but couldn’t get a man to oblige them. Thanks to shows like Sex and the City and Ann Summers’ hugely popular rabbit vibrator, sex toys are now an accepted part of the bedroom, with toy packs for couples widely available. Discuss with your partner the things that you would like to try, and what they would like to try. Anything that you both like is definitely in, while other activities might need some negotiation.

Men do orgasm more readily than women, and they do not need the same sort of finesse when it comes to getting there – but women can be brought to orgasm quite readily by a partner who is prepared to put in the time and effort to get to know what she likes and do it for long enough for her to reach her climax.