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Bisexuality: It’s Really Not Just a Phase

by Beth Divine 19 Nov 2018

Being gay is more or less understandable these days: you don’t like the opposite sex, you like same sex, super. But being bisexual is often deeply misunderstood with people being asked, ‘Are you really straight then, but just bicurious?’ The assumption being that everyone must like sex just one way.

But as every bisexual often says, ‘It’s not about parts, it is about hearts’. Bisexuals genuinely don’t care about the gender or sex of potential partners, they go by the attraction to the other person, on a mental, emotional and spiritual level, with sexual attraction coming along as a result of more meaningful engagements than mere pleasures of the flesh.

While this may seem illogical to heterosexuals (and even some homosexuals of either gender) who like the sexual pleasures that they know can get them off, it is in no way an illegitimate way of finding a partner. There are some people who cannot comfortably be intimate with a stranger – these people will very seldom have one-night stands, and if they do, it will be uncomfortable, possible even distressing for them, and they will be unable to believe that other people can like the excitement and frisson of danger that comes with being brought to orgasm by a stranger. These people would completely understand the idea of getting to know someone long before sexual attraction was permitted a seat at the table.

The interesting thing about bisexuality – in fact sexuality of any kind – is that until it was labelled and forced into several small boxes, sexuality was a very broad spectrum. Shakespeare is famously believed to have been attracted to men, while being very firmly married and having children in a hetero relationship. In those days, morality was not so prudish and sexual desire was widely acknowledged, and acknowledged to exist in both sexes, and in all forms of relationship: lesbian, gay, bi, you  name it – love was love. This is a lesson that it seems to have taken us four hundred years to forget and relearn since the Bard’s day!

No matter who you love and who you want to have sex with, there is one very simple way to understand a bisexual: leave them alone to love who they love, just as they do to you!