Traditionally, it has been assumed that women do not like
sex as much as men. Along with this came a lack of understanding about female
pleasure and how to achieve it, and a firm statement that men need – need – sex in a way that women do not,
and that men get bored with the same old same old, requiring fun and variety in
their nookie, while women are happy with the same sex every time. This is
because the people doing the studies have long been men, who had been raised to
think that women were delicate flowers who didn’t like anything nasty like the
pleasures of the flesh. However, recent studies, this time undertaken without
any of these male oriented preconceptions, have found that the absolute
opposite is true…
Men obsess about sex. It is a long-touted claim that men and
boys think about sex once every three minutes from the moment puberty takes
hold, and this might well be true. But once men are getting nookie on the regular,
they tend to stop obsessing quite so much, and simply be happy that their needs
are being met.
Women are different. A woman may have a completely
satisfying – adventurous even – sex life, but there is a biological imperative
built into most women to keep looking and thinking and wondering. This is
probably because women tend to be static – think of caveman days, when the men
would go off in search of food (or women), while women would stay in the home,
raising the children and keeping the babies safe from predators, poor weather
and so on. This meant that the wiring of the brains needed to be different for
men and women. If men had the wondering and wandering urge, they might never
have returned to their family, going on over the next hill, seeing what lay
over the next rise, seeking out the next animal to hunt and kill.
So men were equipped to seek shorter term satisfaction: this
kill is enough to feed us for a week, this woman is fit and healthy enough to
bear children, this whatever-it-is is enough for now. Women, on the other hand,
needed to take a more long term view of things, so they were equipped to be
constantly looking out for the next thing, a better thing, a bigger thing –
even if the ‘thing’ they had was enough.
This ancient imperative has survived deep within a woman’s
libido and it has been discovered that women tend to keep looking for
satisfaction, even when she has what a man would be content with. Men tend to
like sex the same way at regular and frequent intervals, while a woman will become
bored with the same old same old, looking for a fresh partner, or wanting to
try new positions and acts.