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Anal Sex: For long-time lovers to try

by Beth Divine 9 Dec 2018

Anal sex is becoming more and more popular, and many sexual novices are keen to try it out. It can be very awkward to express such an interest to a partner, even when you have known each other for a long time. It can be really quite ridiculous how readily people will strip off their clothes for someone else and yet balk at expressing their likes, dislikes and preferences – any form of honest communication can sometimes feel like an intimacy too far, even for well established couples.

You should trust each other already – it is unlikely that any relationship would last a long time or be at a place where trying new sexual tricks is a consideration – so once the decision has been made, both of you will probably be quite comfortable discussing your fantasies and your fears.

Lube: Anuses are not designed to be penetrated, so nature has not provided any form of lubricant as with vaginas. Use plenty of lube, preferably one that has been engineered for anal use. These tend to be thicker in consistency, adding layers of comfort and making it easier to penetrate the anus – for both parties!

Go very slowly at first, so that you can get used to the sensations of anal and decide if it is comfortable and something that you might want to continue, and at which tempo you would like to proceed. It won’t take much experimenting between practised lovers before you both find the style that suits you.

Afterwards, take the time to discuss how it was for you both. One of you might have really liked it while the other was more ambivalent, but kept quiet to allow their partner to enjoy the experience without having to stop (yes, people do sometimes suffer pain or discomfort to allow someone else to have a good time so do look out for signals that your partner is not maybe enjoying him or herself quite as much as you are!) If you both enjoyed it, great, you have a new trick to add to your sexual partnership, if you both did not, then the experiment can be put safely to bed. If, however, one of you really liked it, while the other didn’t – then a conversation needs to take place!

One of you not having a good time the first time is not the end of the world – or even the end of the attempt, necessarily. There are a number of different positions to try out, just as with regular sex, and you may easily find that there is one special position that just works for you both, thereafter making anal a happy and orgasmic part of your sex life!