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First Time Sex: How To Prepare

by Beth Divine 10 Dec 2018

Times have changed in recent decades. It used to be that couples – even older couples in their twenties and thirties – had no real idea about what sex was, exactly. Even if they had a vague idea, usually the details were entirely unknown, and only a hasty chat from a more liberal uncle or aunt (or similar family friend or relative) saved many a wedding night from absolute disaster – or even perhaps boredom and disappointment as the couple waited for the bliss they had been told about just to happen without any input from themselves?! These days, young wannabe lovers only need to skim the surface of the internet to see for themselves exactly what sex is all about and learn what body parts fit into where. But seeing something on the small screen is very different from trying it out for themselves. Here is some advice for the anxious virgin, before rushing unprepared into a physical entanglement.

Mental preparation is important. When you are a rather desperate virgin it can be hard to think of anything other than getting some nookie for the first time, but it is important to understand that sex is a partnership over everything else – it is not all about simply satisfying your own desires. The needs of your partner should come first or, be at the very least equal to your own. Make sure that you consider how you will satisfy your partner almost before you think about achieving your own orgasm. And if you are both thinking the same, you are sure to be very satisfied with your encounter!

Physical preparation is also important, and it is something that was unheard of until very recently. Surprisingly, the best person to speak to may be your doctor or health care provider, but you can also go online to a sex toy supplier. A set of dildos are the answer. These enable a virgin to experiment and experience penetration starting with a small object. As she (it is usually a she, although this is not an absolute) becomes accustomed to being penetrated and starts to enjoy herself, she can move up to a bigger size, until she is comfortable and unlikely to suffer pain when she is faced with a fully erect penis for the first time.

Porn is not something that you might instinctively think should go along with the romance and excitement of a first time sexual experience, but picking the right kind of porn clip to watch can help you to understand how to position yourself, and to visualise some of the practical issues that will need to be overcome.

Privacy is key. Do not let anyone else know that you are still a virgin, nor let it slip that this state of affairs is about to change. Keep your sex life between you and your partner, and that way you will relieve yourself o any pressure that you otherwise might feel as regards having a wonderful time the first time around. In fact, do not expect earth-shaking orgasms from either of you the first time – ejaculation can happen unexpectedly, and female orgasm is almost certain not to happen the first time around – perhaps not even the first few times.