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First Time Sex: How to Get Going

by Beth Divine 12 Dec 2018

So now the big day has arrived. You are about to have sex for the first time ever. You’ve watched some porn, so you understand the mechanics of what you are about to attempt. You’ve got the girl (or boy) of your dreams, and all that needs to happen next is the doing of the deed itself. Here are some things to consider first:

Privacy is important with any kind of intimacy and your first sexual encounter is one of the more private times of your life. Make sure that you have somewhere safe and secure so you and your partner can get to grips with sex without needing to worry about being interrupted.

Speaking of the place, make sure that you are both going to be comfortable. A nice big bed with clean sheets and puffy pillows will make sure that you are both as comfortable as possible, which will not only give you great memories of your first time, it will make everything feel even better too.

While extra lubrication may not be needed, it is worthwhile investing in a tube – better by far to have it and not need it, rather than need it and not have it. Lube should only be used with your partner’s consent, if she is a little bit nervous and feels that it will help get everything going a bit more smoothly. But lube should never be a substitute for foreplay which – important tip for everyone – should last probably longer than you might expect: the average woman (average, that means that many will need more time!) needs at least twenty minutes.

Protection is vital to prevent the spread of infections and disease as well as the chance of pregnancy, so do not be tempted to go without: you absolutely can get pregnant the first time, and infections can occur from causes other than sexual disease.

Laugh! Affection, tenderness and humour are seldom mentioned in sexual contexts, but they really can make the difference between a good outcome and a bad one. Laugh with your partner, communicate well, and spend time talking – even if you feel awkward or think that things haven’t gone well. If they are as inexperienced as you (which is likely) they are going to appreciate your mentioning any problems that you may have had!

Having sex for the first time is an important occasion but it is how you handle problems and issues that will stand out in your memory and make the event into a success.