This title is something of a misnomer. It really should be
Why (Some) Women Like Rough Sex. Although probably more women do like it that
do not – up to fifty seven percent, according to researchers – there are a
significant number who are horrified and appalled at the idea of being
physically restrained, hurt or forcefully stimulated. Obviously, it is very
important question that must be asked: you might find yourself on the wrong end
of an arrest record should you suddenly decide that your lady’s ass needs a
firm spanking without checking that it does it for her!
As with everything sexual, consent is king. You may feel that having to pause and ask permission at every stage is boring and a mood-killer – tough. When you’re getting to know someone, you absolutely check with them that what you are doing is okay, before you proceed with it and before you try anything else. Women – or even simply the smaller, physically weaker partner in any relationship – may not always feel able to say, ‘Stop’ or ‘Don’t do that’, but being asked ‘do you like that?’ or ‘May I do this?’ gives them a window to saying, ‘Not really, that hurts’ or even, ‘Oh god, yes, yes, yes!’ the latter of which can be quite reassuring to a younger, less experienced man.
For some women, being manhandled (pardon the pun) is a release. These tend to be women in high-powered or stressful, responsible jobs, and being able to hand the control over to their sexual partner, completely submitting to his domination is something that they find very sexy. These women respond very well to being told what to do in bed, and are acquiescent about changing positions on demand.
It is also a form of abdication from personal responsibility. Women are raised (or traditionally, they have been – hopefully new understanding of sexuality and female needs will see a long term shift in attitudes) to repress and deny their own sexual urges. They are taught that feeling sexy is wrong, and that women are ‘dirty’ if they actually enjoy sex – never mind fetishes or anal and the like, women who like those are just beyond the pale! For these women, letting their man dominate them absolves them from any guilt that they might otherwise feel, which allows them to lie back and be pleasured, rather than feeling that they should be resisting or denying their orgasm in some way.
Finally, being thrust into roughly, having the man seem almost out of control is a huge ego boost to some women. The idea that they are so desirable that a man literally cannot control himself any longer, that he must thrust himself into her urgently and rapidly until he comes hard, is a very rewarding one to a woman who might otherwise feel insecure about her looks, her body or her sexual skills.