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Non-Physical Elements of Attraction: What She Looks for in Him

by Beth Divine 28 Dec 2018

Not all elements of attraction, even sexual attraction, are purely physical. A man could be smoking hot and oozing sex appeal and yet struggle to find a woman because he is a bully, controlling or mean. These are some of the things that women look for in a man.

Kindness is an important factor for most people, and men are no different. There is a saying that ‘men are scared that women will laugh at them, while women are scared that men will kill them,’ and while this is something of an exaggeration, there is certainly more than a grain of truth in it. Being kind to a woman, especially when you are in a position that might be seen to give you power over them, is a huge turn-on for women. Being kind is a lovely habit to have, and once you begin to treat people with courtesy and dignity, you will find yourself becoming very well liked amongst both men and women!

A good sense of humour is always good too. Not a nasty sense of humour where you try and humiliate or demean her, but one where you can laugh together. Laughing releases oxytocin in the body and oxytocin is a feel good hormone that is also released at the point of orgasm. (And during child birth, which is how mothers can often have good memories of their labour and birth, even if it was mildly traumatic at the time!) Being able to laugh together makes you feel closer to each other, and can make sex even better.

When he shows interest in the small stuff, a woman’s heart melts. It can be anything from showing sympathy for a lost false nail, laughing at a work day anecdote, or taking the time to notice a new hairstyle or recipe variation. Conversely, one of the biggest turn-offs would be to ignore or brush off any of these topics and continually turn the talk to oneself or to sex and how you want it right now. As with the act itself, a little foreplay goes a long way!