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What’s in a One-Night-Stand?

by Beth Divine 8 Jan 2019
One night stands are tawdry, shameful events that occur under cover of drunkenness, lust and poor judgement. You fumble with each other’s clothing, managing to remove just enough to gain access, so to speak, fuck mindlessly for a few minutes, and then collapse into fitful sleep for an hour or two – just long enough for the effects of the booze to wear off. When you awaken, you stare in horror at your still comatose fuck-buddy, slither out of the bed, grabbing up your clothes as you do so, and then vanish into the still-dark night, purposefully erasing any memories of the bad sex you’ve just subjected yourself to and promising that you will never do it again. Right?

No.


One-night stands can be great fun. The first thing about one night stands is to lose anything inhibitions that you might have – we are mostly raised to believe that sex should only ever be enjoyed with one person with whom we are going to spend the rest of our lives. Certainly not with a stranger whose full name we almost certainly don’t know, whose medical history we are completely unaware of, and who we will most likely never see again. (Unless you’re Meredith Grey from Grey’s Anatomy in which case the handsome man you’ve just shagged will turn out to be your new line manager.) 

There are always dangers with making yourself vulnerable to a stranger, and being alone and naked with anyone counts as vulnerability. Therefore, obviously, be sensible when it comes to picking a one night partner – don’t choose someone who looks sketchy unless you are very sure that you can handle yourself. Don’t go far away with them, and try not to accept lifts to unknown places. It is better by far to get a nearby hotel room, or go somewhere that you can be private and yet also be heard if things go wrong.


However, most people are simply looking for the same things that you are, a bit of fun, sexual satisfaction, and a little bit of human contact and warmth. Do carry condoms, if you have any fetishes (or things you absolutely will never tolerate) do mention these early on in the event, and do make sure that you are completely committed to going ahead with the encounter. Of course, you can always change your mind once things get steamy, but it is always so much more awkward once clothing has been removed and pulses have quickened.

Having a one-night stand can be liberating, satisfying and just what is needed, especially after a bad break up or a lengthy sexual drought. If you are single and not really looking for a long term commitment right now, go on – indulge yourself!