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Do Women Ever Pay for Sex? And if so, why?

by Beth Divine 12 Jan 2019
It seems like a no brainer – men like sex while women tend not to like it so much, so of course it will be men paying women to let their have their wicked way. Except, the idea that women don’t like sex is wrong and always has been.

Now that historians are uncovering and giving credence to the writings of females, it is being discovered that women have long known that the female orgasm was no myth, and Victorian women actually felt cheated if they were not given sexual pleasure during their marital frolickings. So it should come as no real surprise to learn that women do pay for sex on occasion, despite all the public mention of paid-for sex being that of men doing the paying and the women doing the laying, so to speak. The reasons that women pay for sex are varied:


To experiment – sometimes women can be intensely sexually curious and find it hard to ask the person they love and share their lives with to indulge in risqué or kinky behaviour. Sometimes this is because the fetish is outrageous or might be considered dirty, or it might simply be because it does not interest the partner. For example, someone might want to be spanked, while their partner has been raised with a pathological hatred of the idea of hurting someone

To be in control – oddly enough, women who have been controlled by a sexual partner can sometimes aid their own healing by investing in a sexual relationship in which they have all the control. Paying for sex and being in a position to call the shots can be very healing, helping them return to a state of mind in which they can once again emotionally commit to a ‘regular’ relationship.


Not everyone longs for long term commitment and all the emotional baggage that comes along with a relationship. This is more commonly known as a male trait, but women can and do feel the same way. These women pay for sex in order to enjoy an active sex life and the intimacy of bodily contact without any of the responsibilities and duties that come along with being in a permanent partnership. 

So, yes, women do pay for sex on occasion, and it is mostly for similar reasons that men pay for sex. This is not something to be judged as we are all different – and besides, sex workers need to make a living too!