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Why Going Down on Her is Good for Both of You

by Beth Divine 13 Jan 2019

DJ Khaled famously doesn’t go down on his ladies. (Perhaps that’s the real reason Nicki Minaj turned him down? It is hard to imagine that someone as feisty as Minaj would ever accept the double standard that Khaled cites as his reasons for refusing to perform oral: ‘It’s different rules for men,’ he claims.) Whatever his reasoning he is not alone, but the club he has put himself into is not a manly macho club oozing with machismo-saturated men. No, on the contrary, he has aligned himself – rather publicly to boot – with a small band of men who think that pleasing their ladies is a sign of weakness. There is weakness there, but it is their fragility on display with each instance of reluctance.

Genuinely masculine men who are comfortable enough with their gender to want to make sure that everybody has a good time in bed, and it seems that the reaction to Khaled’s statement was an overwhelming win for team cunnilingus. Not only did he state the above, he further added that it was ‘right’ that women ‘worship’ their men by fellating them, and this, added to his implicit belief that it is a man’s right to take pleasure and never give it, led to a veritable storm of condemnation coming down on him. (Puns always intended.)

Surprisingly, historians weighed in on the topic too, and it seems that there is a long and satisfying history of men pleasing their woman – it is even, Khaled might be surprised to learn – mentioned in ancient texts, including in a four thousand year old Sumerian text which states: ‘Like her mouth, her vulva is sweet.’ In ancient China, too, cunnilingus was firmly encouraged by the belief that vaginal secretions were something of a superfood, imparting many health benefits upon the bestower of pleasure – now doesn’t that sound a lot more fun than blueberry smoothies and kale crisps?

It is the ancient Greeks – famed, you might remember, for their tremendous love of man-on-man action – who made vulvas, vaginas and the pleasuring of womanly parts into something dirty and/ or shameful. It is they who decided that menstruation – a perfectly normal and healthy bodily function – was foul, and that therefore anything in that bodily area was likewise foul, no doubt using these beliefs as an excuse to rush off to the nearest marketplace to buy themselves a handsome young slave to teach the ways of other fleshly delights – those in which females had no part at all…