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Are You Gay If You’re Bi-Curious?

by Beth Divine 16 Jan 2019

The short answer to this is ‘no’.

People have long been interested in sex, and this includes all sorts of acts that involve regular penetrative sex with someone of the opposite sex, and it also includes all manner of other sexual acts that are not necessarily reproductive in nature. It is these latter acts that are designated as ‘sodomy’ – something that not many people realise these days, as it seems to have become synonymous with anal sex.

Sexual exploration of both same sex and other sex partners is something that has always been known about, and it also something that occurs in nature – homosexual encounters have been spotted between lions, penguins, swans and many more animal species. These animals have not necessarily been exclusively homosexual (although some have!) and people are really no different.

Same sex encounters, friendships and even marriages have been known for as far back as we have written records. It was reasonably common for people (usually men) to indulge in same-sex acts while being in a long term hetero relationship or while seeking one.

Things changed when the actual term ‘homosexual’ was coined – this was very quickly followed by the act being criminalised, so that people who had previously dabbled with same sex events and then returned to their usual lives free from embarrassment or stain of crime were suddenly made aware that these desires were now known as ‘perverted’, ‘dirty’ and a sin.

Prior to the invention of the label, homosexuality was something you enjoyed every now and then, not something you were, and this blurred the lines between hetero and homo-sexuality. Therefore, all the controversy about Shakespeare writing love sonnets to a man, and accounts of same-sex marriages in places as puritanical as Ireland becomes so much more mundane and understandable. An act or event does not need to be hushed up or seen as mortifying when it is a simple fact of life and not a crime or even a social more…

So if you have occasionally been tempted by a same-sex friend, do not worry that you are not the fine heterosexual that you have always felt yourself to be – bi-curiosity is natural, healthy and a sign of being very comfortable with your own sexuality. Whether you act on it is entirely your choice and nothing to be judged over or worried about.