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Successful women – sexy or scary? Scary!

by Beth Divine 5 Mar 2019

A certain breed of men (these days usually older, mostly straight, predominantly from traditionally patriarchal societies) believe that women are ‘naturally’ submissive and that they should always defer to the man in the room – no matter who the man is, how old or bright or caring he is. Any man is automatically ‘better’ in his mind, than any woman.

Anyone who lives in the modern world in which bright, beautiful, confident women are high-achievers, paying their own way and forging their own paths, will be aware that this viewpoint is not only dangerously outdated, it is – and always has been! – completely wrong.

Even though men today are less rigid about adhering to gendered roles, there can still be something very intimidating about a powerful women, especially when she ‘needs’ to be in charge in every single aspect of life, including in the bedroom.

While some men might like to be bossed around sexually, most prefer to ‘be on top’ both physically and metaphorically. Traditionally, this goes back to mammalian instinct where the male’s body would cover the female’s body in case of an attack while they are otherwise engaged. This was because should the male be killed, the female would most likely survive, being protected by his bigger, sturdier body – and his seed might live on, ensuring the propagation of his line.

This lingering instinct might be why some people cling firmly to positions that are denigrated as being patriarchal and societal constructs – they might well be hangovers from caveman times, a holdover designed to protect women and treat men as disposable – quite the opposite to what feminists might believe!

It is best for powerful women to acknowledge their power and be aware that it may be off-putting or intimidating to the men in their lives. As with all battles, there are times when hostilities should be called off and the powerful partner be comfortable enough to let their lover take control of events, even if just for a short time.