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by Beth Divine 2 May 2019

Anorgasmia is a rather beautiful word for a rather unpleasant happenstance: it is the complete inability to orgasm. And it usually affects women, which is why there is no research on the subject nor are there easy cures for the condition. Actually, that’s not quite true: the instance of idiopathic anorgasmia is higher in women, which is to say that when it happens in men, there are known reasons for it, usually to do with surgeries they have had or medicines they are taking – very few men find themselves unable to orgasm for no particular reason.

With men, the inability to orgasm is generally related to prostate or other genital surgeries or to medicines, especially those that are taken to lower blood pressure or for cardiac issues. Sometimes following an especially traumatic physical injury or severely debilitating illness, the ability to orgasm may be lost temporarily. This can be teamed with erectile issues or separate from them – that is to say, a man could be able to have and maintain an erection, even achieving penetration and bringing their partner to orgasm while being unable to come themselves.

In most cases, adjustments to medications, lowering doses or simply allowing sufficient recovery time can be enough to restore orgasm to most patients – and this is true of most physical disruptions of sexual functions.

However, there are a small number of men and a significantly larger number of women who have psychological blocks to orgasm, and these are notably harder to get on top of. Here are some of the top psychological issues:

·         Sexual abuse or trauma

·         Some mental illnesses

·         Lower than usual libido

If the right doctor is consulted – and this is now more likely because of the growing understanding of sex as a natural bodily function – it is possible that sexual satisfaction will become more achievable. Medications can be prescribed for boosting the libido – sometimes simply becoming more active and eating better can be enough – and to aid sexual health for those suffering mental ill-health. Achieving a good sex life can even aid in achieving a good balance of brain chemicals.

In the case of sexual trauma and abuse, it is easy to see why this can be problematic. It is possible to move past previous traumas, but it will take time, therapy and a lot of patience. Plenty of talking and discussion of likes and dislikes before any physical contact takes place, moving onto – in time – gentle petting and touching. When the patient feels they are ready, then sexual contact can begin, slowly and gently, always moving at a pace that the patient feels comfortable with.

With time and the right medications, many people can enjoy the high and release of orgasm – but there may always be those who cannot quite get there. In these cases, sexual contact can still occur, and it can still be very successful as long as communication remains open and honest.