It has been claimed that women do not like anal. Even if
they say they like it, they do not like it, one blogger in particular has
claimed. Quite apart from the insulting rudeness with which many women’s
experiences have been brushed aside as lies – lies, the blogger claims, to keep
their men interested, or to seem cooler or more edgy than they really are – it
is a mistake for any one person to claim that their personal experience is – must
be – the only true universal experience…
While it is true that one’s first anal experience is not the most comfortable, it is not true that it remains that way. In the case of the blogger in question, her boyfriend insisted that they would have anal, and he would anally penetrate her whether she was ready for him or not: this is rape (even though she claims it was not) and it is not surprising that rape is ‘not comfortable’. But her claim that no women enjoy anal is incorrect – and a quick porn search for ‘anal orgasm’ will prove her wrongness…
However, the experiences of one woman aside, as mentioned above, the first foray into anal tends not to be a comfortable one: the anus is not accustomed to being stretched by things on their way in, and the muscles and sphincters can tense up, causing pain or discomfort. Also, not knowing what it is going to feel like can make one tense, while enjoyable anal is best when you are relaxed and receptive. The first few times of having anal can also make a person feel dirty and ashamed. This is because of social conditioning which teaches us that the anus is ‘dirty’ and not to be touched – plenty of intimate cuddles and reassurance will alleviate this feeling of being degraded.
The anal sphincter is designed to be tight, and it should never be forced – a few minutes of foreplay during which plenty of lube is used is a must. Once anal has been attempted once or twice, and the woman (or recipient) knows what to expect, and how to relax in the right way, anal sex can be very enjoyable indeed. The walls between the back and front passages are thin enough that the clitoris and G-Spot can both be stimulated, and awareness of indulging her partner’s secret fantasy can add to the excitement – as, in fact, can his excitement at trying out this most taboo of entrances!